Elastic Heart
by bmhse
Summary: The war over Panam is over, but the war that Katniss and Peeta face is far from over. The residual effects that haunt them are worse then ever, and Katniss must face her own demons alone when she is forced to return to district 12 after her trial. What most of Panam does not know, is that she and Peeta had shared a night together before the bombings, and Katniss must cope alone.


Elastic Heart

This story is inspired by the song written by Sia, that was originally written for the Catching Fire soundtrack, and is now featured on her album 1000 Forms of Fear. This story does take place in an Alternate Universe post Mockingjay, and pre epilogue. I am ok with constructive criticism, but I don't take kindly to rude comments so please try and be reasonable. I hope the story will be to all of your liking, and may the odds be ever in your favor.

Summary

The war over Panam is over, but the war that Katniss and Peeta face is far from over. The residual effects that haunt them are worse then ever, and Katniss must face her own demons alone when she is forced to return to district 12 after her trial. What most of Panam does not know, is that she and Peeta had shared a night together before the bombings, and Katniss must face the one thing she swore to never have without the help from Petta.

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Preface: I may snap and I move fast

Everything was swirling around me. Once my arrow was released, and the crowd released that I had not hit the intended president, the cheering had stopped and the screaming began. Everything had become chaotic, and I was roughly grabbed from behind and slammed up against the wall face first. I knew my lip had been busted, as I could feel and taste the blood in my mouth. From that point on I knew nothing would ever be the same.

Without a word being said to me, I had my hands bound and I was pushed into a tiny dark room that only held a simple mattress. The soldier that pushed me in throw me in the corner and proceeded to bind my ankles together, and turned to face the door. I thought that he was going to leave me alone, but he swiftly turned around and his fist collided with my left eye. I knew if I had a voice I would have screamed out, but I hadn't said a word since the bombings that took place over a month ago, and I don't think my voice works. Instead, no noise was heard except for the sound of my head hitting the back of the wall.

I looked up at the man who hit me, and all I could see was the extreme amount of anger that projected from his eyes, but I felt no remorse. I stared back at him, but my eyes could not communicate any particular emotion towards him. I had not felt a single thing since she died, and all I could think was that I deserved everything that was about to happen to me. I did not deserve them for killing Coin, but I deserved them for so, so, so many more horrible things. I was responsible for the death of Prim, for my mothers pain, for the destruction of my district, for this war, and so many who are now suffering because I failed to convince Snow that I truly loved Peeta. But one of the worst things I have done was all of the pain that I have caused the boy with the bread. He never deserved anything that has happened to him.

The sweet, caring, innocent and charming boy, has lost his family, his sanity, has been tortured to the brink of death, and still suffers all because of my actions. I have done so many things wrong by him, and he has just taking it all in stride. He saved me from death more times than I care to admit, and I returned the favor by leading him on, destroying his heart, and I am no better than the mutt that he fears so much during his episodes. The worst thing is that we consummated our relationship, or what ever our twisted companionship has become, just hours before my sweet innocent sister was blown to pieces by the bomb my so called "best friend" designed. Happiness can never be in the cards for me. I don't deserve it, and perhaps whatever is about to happen to my will give the world the chance to heal from my messes, and will allow Peeta to live the life he deserves. No one deserves my insanity and horror filled life that only leads to more terror and destruction. My demise is what will grant the world the peace that it has been denied for far to long.

3 Weeks Later

I have had no concept of what time, or what day it is. I used to be able to calculate them by when my meals were brought, but I stopped eating them. What was the point? I cant sleep and my head is constantly throbbing from lack of energy and sleep deprivation. It may also be likely that my skin graphs have gotten infected, as I have started scratching and picking at them, but again, why would it matter.

The only thing I wanted was for everything to end, but the odds have never truly been in my favor. They would never allow me to end my life and succumb to the numbness that I crave. To be with my sister would be the ultimate reward, but I am not deserving of such an award. I killed the acting President, and thousands of others in this war. Death would be to easy for me.

As I was picking apart the piece of skin attached somewhere near my elbow the door burst open, but I didn't look up. I didn't even flinch when the door slammed against the wall that was a mere inch from my head.

"Come on Sweetheart. We are going home." Haymitch's voice could not have been more annoying. He was just playing with my head like he always did. District 12 didn't exist. That was my home. They could not take me back to 13. I would rather rot away right here in this dingy closet.

I didn't know he had moved until I smelt his liquor laced breath directly in front of my face. I felt him place his finger under my chin and lift my head up, but my eyes were un seeing. I choose not to listen to anything else he said and allowed my vision to remain unfocused. he allowed my head to fall back in its position against my chest, and moved to lift me up into his arms, and the gasp that came from his mouth caused my fingers to grasp his shirt.

"She hasn't been eating…has she?" I wasn't sure who he was talking to, but I knew the question wasn't directed at me. Even if it was, there was no need to answer. I may not have had a mirror, but I knew my ribs and collar bone were protruding, and my cheeks were sunken in. As Haymitch carried me out, my head became more dizzy than normal. I wasn't used to movement, and i was practically being run down the narrow hallway. I didn't know where I was being taken to, and I didn't have time to find out, as my body shut down and my world went black.

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Author's Note: So this is just the preface. The first chapter will take place when Katniss and Haymitch return to District 12 and will continue on from there. This is my first time with a Hunger Games story that takes place in an alternate universe.


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